were a weird mixed bag...

I got A's in English Lit and Classics (with full marks in the English paper, and the Greek Tragedy Paper), but was one mark off an A in both RE and History (were I did significantly better in the papers that I'd thought I'd done poorly in).

One mark. One mark. ONE MARK

That's....annoying.

...I still like it.

The town centre is very pretty and the cathedral is spectacular, and ridiculously huge. The outskirts are a bit dingy, and there's some seriously hideous '60's architecture in places (The Student Union? Oh...my...god). But overall, I like it. I could happily spend three years here, especially with Newcastle being pretty close, if I need to actually do anything. I want to go to uni in a small town; I've grown up in a big city (Liverpool), and in a pretty shitty suburb, so something pretty and vibrant really appeals. I'm not overly fond of campuses, a little too insular for my tastes, and the same with the Oxbridge collegiate system.

And the course...well, had I not already been applying to Durham for definite, the department talk wouldn'tve swayed me. I can't fault that, however, the speaker was an admissions tutor, and was incredibly helpful with regards to that side of the process. But, I've checked out the course online, and it's not perfect, but the best I've seen, bar UCL. The Icelandic exchange is incredibly tempting.
I've noticed though, at every English talk I've been to, has been very heavily female dominated, with about 3/4 of the room being female. There's always one ridiculously hot male student as well. Not that I'm letting that influence me or anything.

All in all, Durham remains my first choice. And I'm pretty certain of my other choices: UCL, Exeter (Falmouth), York and St Andrews. I've ruled out Cambridge, I think, because, as I've mentioned, I found the collegiate system, wherein almost all of your socialising, and teaching is done within the college, far, far too insular for my tastes. I've spent seven years in a small private school, and frankly, it can get a little claustrophobic at times (I've enjoyed it, but I wouldn't want my uni experience to be identical.)

My next post will be about something different, I promise.

ETA Patrick Wolf is beautiful and amazing. Check him out.

I suppose one of the advantages of applying to study English is preparation consists of reading lots, and not slaving in a hospital or law firm all summer. And, to avoid feeling guilty about this, I have been reading lots.

Firstly, A S Byatt's Possession, which I adored for about two thirds, before suddenly becoming disappointed and disillusioned with it. It's a very self indulgent book, and you feel as if much of it, particularly the lengthier journal entries, are a vanity on Byatt's part, to prove herself to the literati as a Serious Author. This isn't helped by the weakness of the plot: two academics (one a typical male everyman, another an ice cold feminist, Byatt's strength not being characterisation) discover love letters between a prominent Victorian poet, and an obscure feminist, assumedly lesbian fairy poet, and from there seek to prove their discovery, following a neat and improbably chronologically correct chain of poems, journals and letters, before their work is snatched and taken credit for by The Forces of Darkness (The obsessive American professor's characterisation is pure Goodkind, including implied paedophilia.) I have to say, aside from the aforementioned Literary Points Scoring, I have no idea why Byatt chose to bother with the modern plotline, given the much more compelling nature of the relationship between the poets, which is worth reading for. This subplot is touching, well thought out and characterised, and never rises to the melodrama of its modern counterpart. The present day storyline, however, is weak, improbable, filled with stock characters, awful, clumsy parallels and a truly awful final 'showdown' (I swear Byatt has taken this from a Scooby Doo episode, it is that ridiculous). Possession has at its heart a genuinely compelling story, smothered under a self indulgent literary facade. A shame.

Jonathan Barnes' The Somnambulist also suffers from excellent concept, awful execution syndrome. It's a lurid, ridiculous Victorian romp, packed with eccentricities and freaks galore, which collapses entirely, as many detective novels do, when its central conspiracy is revealed, and turns out to be much less exciting than it had seemed. Unfortunately, The Somnambulist, goes a step further; the revelations is not only uninteresting, but also ignores much of what had already happened, leading to a huge number of loose ends being entirely dropped (such as the titular character himself, and the reverse time travelling King of London, Cribbs, all fascinating, tantalising characters which demand some kind of resolution to justify their presence at all.) and the stupidest ending to a novel I've ever come across: a pitched battle at London docks between the outcasts of London, the Police, secret government agents, a pair of demonic public schoolboys, and the reanimated corpse of Samuel Taylor Coleridge, dripping acid and leaving destruction in his wake. This has little to no relevance to the rest of the book, and is both unsatisfying and entirely bizzare. Only read if you are prepared to be seriously disappointed by the end.

Sarah Water's Affinity, a lesbian tale of Victorian spiritualism and imprisonment, is decidedly superior, and makes much better use of its 19th Century setting. The gloomy, despairing atmosphere of the prison, and the narrator's bleak home-life is nothing short of excellent, without ever resorting to melodrama. It's gripping, and surprising, right to the very end, and reminds me a great deal of Joanne Harris' Sleep, Pale Sister, which is a very good thing. Highly recommended.

Speaking of which; I could really use advice on which Woolf novel I should start with - I've read the opening thirty pages of both Mrs Dalloway and To The Lighthouse, and would like to have finished one or the other (or another entirely) by the end of the summer.

Being home alone for two weeks is an interesting experience. So far I've learnt that I never want to have cats of my own (Being cooped up with THREE of the bastards, and it raining everyday), much as I like them, and that I really, really, really don't like being alone. The novelty wears off very quickly. It's strange, especially given how detached I normally am, how little I'm enjoying this.

Still, I have UCAS to occupy my time. Joy. Still haven't decided on Unis, which is a little worrying - I know I want to apply to Durham (I would be so happy if I were to get in here), UCL ( though living in London is a little daunting), and Exeter (though I'm not sure which campus, Exeter requires higher grades, but Cornwall seems nicer). Considering Cambridge (Surprisingly I quite liked it after visiting the open day, Oxford not so much. Will blog about this in a day or two), though I've heard being accepted for Cambridge gets you an atuomatic rejection from Durhm, the logic being no-one would turn down an Oxbridge place for Durham. Which is irritating, as I would :(
York and St Andrews are tied for my final slot - St Andrews looks wonderful, but I'm not sure I like not being able to do English only until the third year. York seems interesting, if a little inflexible in the course structure. I'veb een able to rule out Warwick and Leeds, on the grounds that I wouldn't want to live for three years in Leeds or Coventry.

Finally, A S Byatt's Possession is many shades of wonderful, despite some issues with characterisation I think you, alankria , would really enjoy this.

Will blog about recent trips, and papery things soon.

Exams is dead.

AS was a lot friendlier than GCSE, I think, or at least in terms of exams. No matter how much harder they might be, five exams is a lot easier to cope with than twenty one. Apart from the 3 hour killers. Hell is a three hour combined Religious Ethics/ Jewish Scriptures (don't ask. We were told it was Black, Liberation and Feminist Theology) paper, involving eight essays.

But it's done now. And onto A2. Yup, apparently this next month where neither pupils nor staff can be arsed is vital to our success. Or something. Especially the huge amount of work to be done in History. You know, the subject I'm dropping in September.

I probably need the time for English Lit, however, given we're starting the comparative coursework. I've picked Hamlet and Gormenghast, which should just about kill me. Haven't decided on a theme yet; maybe insanity, or isolation. Or I might focus on the Gertrudes. Shakespeare's is misrepresented, Peake's is awesome in a bodice and wig.

More sleep now. I really should not be still feeling this drained.

Today has been weirdly lovely, weather wise, which has been very conducive to revision. I've been able to play cello outside, which is slightly surreal, but the sound is so much richer. Of course, my joy is slightly dampened by the knowledge that today is both the beginning and the end of the British Summer. Come June, and half the country will be underwater, just like last year. And the year before.

Finished Mieville's The City & The City. Disappointing, in a word. There was so much potential, the first half was wonderful, full of tantalising glimpses and promises of strange and cool mysteries and academic disputes to be solved.But then the second half swung around, and the plot devolved into a dull detective novel, with a very unsatisfying conclusion. It's not a bad book, per say, just not anywhere near as good as I'd expected from Mieville (though that said, out of the four novels I've read by Mieville, only The Scar has ever been completely wonderful, with a satisfactory ending).

Back to revising now, joy. I think the thing I resent most about exams is the large amount of time either spent revising, or feeling guilty for not revising, and how both detract from all the things you've suddenly thought of that you'd rather be doing instead.

Once again I have failed to update this in...an embarrassingly long time. *sigh*

Exams are not fun. I'm confident I've got A's in English and Classics, given how wonderful the questions were for Classics (Essay on Clytemnestra's role in the Agamemnon? There may well be a God after all), although English was..strange. The AS course requires not only you to write two coursework pieces on two tragedies (in my case, Emilia's role in Othello, and Linda's role, and what she represents, in Death of a Salesman), limited to 1500 words each (WTF?), but also an exam half of which requires you to write about three entirely unrelated texts, devoting only twenty minutes to each one. The questions, obviously, have to be stupidly vague.

But, yeah, I think I'm confident about those. Re and History nor so much. Largely because of the stupid amount I need to know for the horrile, 3 hour RE exam, and my complete lack of knowledge for the British History paper. History is getting dropped so hard in August.

I really can't wait for these things to be over so I can get back to my life. Unfortunately, having seen several previews for The Sims 3, I think I can say goodbye to that idea.

Also, less interested in Warwick than I was after going to the open day. Coventry's not somewhere I really want to spend the next three years of my life, and I'm thinking the campus might be a little too enclosed for my liking. That and the lecturer giving the English talk was something of a prat.

It has begun. The great "So where are you going to apply to?" question asked by every teacher, brought up at every assembly, over and over again.

And my answer? I don't honestly know. I know what course I want to do: English Lit (No, not theology. If Classics and History can leave me alone, why can't you?). But I don't know where I want to do it.
I know where I don't want to do it: Liverpool, mainly because having lived here all my life, I hate the city. But other than that, I'm at something of a loss.

Durham appeals to me greatly, both the town, course, department, college system, and awesome chancellor (Bill Bryson!). But so does King's College, London, which has a similar course and reputation. To say nothing of Warwick, Leeds, York or St Andrews. Which is all complicated enough before we even mention Oxbridge, which half of my tutors have decided I should go to. And I'm really no sure about that. I don't want to go to make my school look good in the papers, and to be honest, the websites at both universities are very vague on what the courses actually entail. Helpful, yes? But there is aconference in a week for people interested in Oxbrigde, so we shall have to see.

In the meantime, any advice on British univiersities would be greatly appreciated. *Flutters eyelashes*

I see that I have already managed to break one New Years' Resolution: Updating this on a regular basis. Still, I do have an excuse, having succumbed to what I have dubbed as the 'February Fever'; a particularly nasty cold which lasted over two weeks involving all kinds of weird and not so wonderful symptoms, including fever. That one lasted A WHOLE WEEK. My writing from that period, is, um, interesting, to say the least.

In other news, I have started a new novelly shaped project. You know, to go alongside the other three. This one is inspired by, of all things, Icewinddale II, specifically my frustration at the fascinating power structure presented in the game, which the plot will not let you do anything but hack apart. DO NOT WANT. So therefore I am writing my own icy-flavoured politics/ conflict novel. So there. That said, IWDII isn't that bad, provided it is combined with Domi's IWDII NPC mod. Which adds a surprisingly compex cast of joinable characters to the game.

And finally, a February update for GYWO. I am at 56,353 words, which is a much larger amount than I'd expected to be at by this point. Hopefully this should go some way to covering the May Meltdown brought on by AS exams.

I just snapped the C sting on my cello. Irritatingly, it happened whilst I was trying to FIX it. 

OH WELL. It was buggered anyway. Definitely in its death throes in Orchestra on Tuesday. Allow me to demonstrate through the medium of letters the sound it was making: EEEEEARRRFGHKEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIERRDFGHKKKKKSSEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
I think that no c string is probably an improvement.

Also, by the end of January, my GYWO wordcount stands at 30,000/ 250,000 - which is roughly 12%.


Which is way over my goal, and shall stand me in good stead for May, when I doubt I'll be writing much, if at all.

Victorian/Gothic/Parody novel has grown, lurking at almost 8,000 words now. i think that it will be the sort of novel that once finished, will be put in a black box and never opened again. So far, as well as ticking the usual Gothic cliches of spiritualism, asylums, Highgate Cemetery and Sinister Nuns!, we also have a Bridget Jones style of friends, making snarky comments on the plot, which doesn't exactly help in keeping the tone consistent. OH WELL. Eliza (the MC) is very, very fun to write. Not least because she seems to have  very definite alcohol problems. I do not know how this happened.

Other Novel is also progressing well. It is about Pirates. Magic Pirates. Dead Magic Pirates. Tentatively titled Pages: A Hundred And One Days, it is, in part inspired by the mid books of The Odyssey. The idea of exploring uncharted seas, filled with isle full of withes and monsters and strange cities, was too appealing to resist. Narrated by all of the main characters, in first person, with the Circe character pulling all of the different narratives together, it is very, very fun to write.

Finally, Third Novel has appeared, based on some comments in my Jewish Scriptures class; that of Court Prophets. These are the likes of Samuel, Nathan and so on in the OT, who seem to possess considerable influence over the various Israelite Kings. A plotbunny came when I asked my tutor about possible rivalries within the courts between prophets. His answer: yes, but the only ones we know of won so completely, the others' names are never mentioned. I want to write this so much, a bitter struggle between prophets in a shifting society, to gain the ear of a king. I'll need to research other ANE cultures, plus Greek prophetic traditions, at some point. But, yes. This will be full of win.

Finally, the cello is awesome. Screw weedy violins and violas, cello is where it's at. It's only taken me six years of playing to realise this.

Entering getyourwordsout  was a mistake really, given I am also doing AS levels this year. OH WELL. My soul is sold now.

And what do I  want to write? A Victorian style Gothic novel with mystery, adventure, parody and fantasy elements. I am well aware that this is insane. I think that I should probably do some research for this, to avoid the use of [square brackets] which infested my Nano.

If anyone has any recommendations for a) non fiction books on the Victorian period (19th century London in particular), b) 19th century Gothic novels that you think I should be reading (I've got Northanger Abbey, Dracula, Frankenstein and Wuthering Heights) and c) any modern novels which deal with 19th century gothic/ fantasy settings; I've only read Susanne Clarke's Jonathan Strange And Mr Norrell, and Joanne Harris' Sleep, Pale Sister, then please, let me know.

Thanks :)

Oh, finally, I took a look at next year's History syllabus, and you know what one of the research topics is? The Age of Justinian, which is one of the most fascinating periods of history there is. Unfortunately, my history department only likes Modern History, and so we are all researching the Russian Revolution. Yay.

...just sleeping.

The last month and a half have been ridiculously stressful and full of wonderful, time consuming things. I have spent the last five days in a lethargic state. Still, worth it, I think.

In other news: According to my History class we should not be giving money to Africa during the recession, after all, it's not our problem, right? And anyway, "We don't get given shoebox appeals, do we?" I wish I was making this up.

Also, I've found out the texts we're likely to be studying next year in English Lit: Dr Faustus, Wuthering Heights, The Bloody Chamber and Dracula. I love A level.

Finally, Merry Christmas/ Yule to everyone :) I am going back to bed now.

My sickness has come back after a week long holiday.  IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN

Nano is almost done- If I work very, very hard tonight, I think that I can get it done before 2am! Plus History homework, which I've had 2 extensions on, plus Cello practice for an exam on Wednesday and I STILL haven't learnt the scales, plus stuff for West Side Story Wednesday-Friday. I am doing too much now. Please be not giving me more essays.

History is really staring to bore me - I really couldn't care less about British Politics in the 20's, and incredibly irritated by the fact that both textbooks AND the teacher ignore the actual stuff we really need to know.

I've purchased Storm Of Zehir and, and, well, underwhelming is my reaction. Horribly buggy, screws up MotB and all player modules, the Overland map has a really, really nasty glitch on my PC so I can't actually see it properly. The story is not there. Nor are the characters. It's like playing Dungeon Siege all over again. The novelty of making several of your own wears off very, very quickly.
It feels like a glorified RTS/ RPG hybrid in the vein of King's Bounty or Heroes of Might and Magic, what  with the wandering about a map, fighting random battles, buying and trading resources and the party of heroes. Fun, but not exactly gripping. It might get better, and the cohorts might develop some personality (Lashti has potential).

Oh, and exams next week? Ho ho ho.

Nano is, so far, going very well.  I've not yet ran into many problems with regards to writing 2k a day, with 5/6k over a weekend.

I'm currently ahead, i think, with 15, 242 words, and I'm aiming to get to 20k by midnight on Sunday. This is good, as the end of this month is going to have so much happening, I'm not going to have the time to write much, if at all.

I think this one flows, for me, much better than my other novel, for jonowrimo. the structure is much more flexible, being told from the PoV's of two women, a Norse Witch, and a Roman Prophetess (or at least analogues of those cultures), as well as occasionally the Pov of the witch's guide; a witch herself, the goddess incarnated as the prophetess, the journal of another noblewoman, and a female captain on a very strange journey, slowly being stripped of herself. They are intentionally female,  and, unlike my other novel, all have a relevant role in the novel, and actually do stuff, instead of always being pushed into doing something for someone else.

The styles are also all very different, so If I get too bored, i can just switch VP and go off on a wild flight of verbal fancy.
Valente has really affected my writing style lately, I'm going to have to be very careful of that.

In other news: Very, very happy Obama won. Much less happy Proposition 8 got passed.

So after deciding I wasn't gong to do Nano this year, I am now doing Nano.

I only discovered this yesterday, so I have absolutely no plans or notes, or hell, even a clue what I'm doing with my novel. Should be, ah, interesting. 2,019 words so far, with a planned 2k for today.

Gaiman's The Graveyard Book is surprisingly good, so far, though it looks like its going to have the usual bland hero (Is this a staple of YA or something? Every YA book I've read with a child/ teenage protagonist has been entirely unremarkable.)  Still , some lovely ideas and worldbuilding so far (I particularly like the Lady on Grey)

Started playing this on Halloween. There is a staggering amount of content in here, most of it top quality (Tiberius69's entry was a particular delight. ChaosWielder's was really quite disturbing. ActorOfVeil's bothered the fuck out of me). Though there are a few weak entries, I'm not sure what the point of Stinkeen's is. But on the whole, well worth playing, and reinstalling NWN2 for, even for just a few hours.

Adam Miller's entry was, as per usual for Miller, all style and no substance, and more than a little pointless. but I must confess I have quite a strong dislike of Miller's work, mainly due to the fact the females in his mods are always bisexual, but the guys? Are always straight. This bothers me on two levels 1) the reduction of female/female relationships to male titillation and 2) The complete absence of homosexual men (probably because as we all know, they're icky, right?) In the readme for the first Dark Waters mod, I remember him saying there was no m/m undertones in the sidetrip to the showers because "It's a family-friendly mod". That pisses me off on so many levels.

Anyway, back to Nano!

I had a wonderful weekend in London, (WHY is it so expensive!?!? Srsly, if it wasn't for that, I would love to study down there. Sigh), mostly at the rather splendid British Museum (though most of it seemed to be closed, or, fun, they were closing sections AS we got to them.)

Saw the Hadrian exhibition, and i have to say, it was really very good. there was a very nice section on Trajan, his family, and their links to Hadrian, as well as on Hadrian's architectural impact and his conquests. There was, perhaps, a little bit more on his Villa than any sane person might want to know, but meh, some of it was interesting.

But the section on Antinous? Was really overhyped. I think it was just there to remind us HADRIAN WAS GAI OKAY!!! GEDDIT? GAIIIIIII!!!!!? I mean, yes, Hadrian had a boy toy, yes it was unusual for such a strong attachment, yes, he had a very nice body, but his personality, his background? Nada. There was some very fascinating stuff on Roman Sexuality, and the cult of Antinous, but not enough sadly. Sabina, was also rather neglected.

Not complaining though, overall excellent exhibition. A bit miffed I might miss out on the Babylon one, given how wonderful Ancient Middle Eastern civilisations are.
BTW The Korean gallery is beautiful, and way underrated. Go and see.

Bought books. Lots of books. About 15 I think, plus another 10 from Play.com/ Bookshops in Liverpool. I don't have the time/ money for these. :(

In other news, Gaiman's Sandman is awesome (although shops have developed the interesting technique of managing to always have every issue but the one I need.)

I've decide to drastically cut back on the amount I'm writing for jonowrimo . I really can't cope making myself write 1000 words a night. I don't want my writing to become a chore. I also think I need to spend some time over half-term sorting out world-building notes, character lists (I've lost count of several name and people), and a few plot issues, which I don't have time too right now.

On a happier note, English Lit has drastically improved since one kid dropped it.  I was surprised to find I'm doing better in the class on Romantic Poetry and use of Narrative, than I am in the Death of A Salesman class. (A* to A I think). Which is odd, as I'm already bored with the Rime of the Ancient Mariner, and Keats' rampant misogyny is really stating to irritate me. Though trying to argue that La Belle Dame Sans Merci is a feminist poem is fun.
History remains, at least in one class, dull and full of idiots (the idiots are in the other class but they just sit there in stupefied silence in that one. Why, hello there intellectual elitism!) But still 3 and a half out of 4 subjects being enjoyable is good.

Oh, oh. I have found (well, been recommended), a Victorian cello-rock band! And they are mighty!

Rereading Bernard Cornwell's The Winter King at the minute, and rather enjoying it, despite not really knowing much about the Arthurian legends beyond the very basic stories. The fact it's reasonably accurate for the historical period, and the Byzantine/ Dark Ages is probably my favourite period in history, is a huge plus.

Schoolwise- 6th Form's very meh. Classics and RE are what I'd imagined it to be like, actually intelligent debate, we're treated like adults, everyone can cope with the subject, interesting, difficult but so much better than GCSE. History and English Lit, the subject I want to do for degree for fuck's sake? Terrible. And the teachers are all good, the subject matter interesting, though I'm not overly-enthusiastic about history. The problem? The people in my classes are morons. Why are you doing English fucking Literature, if you don't read for pleasure? And why do you whine about a subject you chose to take, and treat the teachers with no respect? And you're paying for this? Jesus fuck. I am seriously pissed off at the amount of time wasted on having to explain simple concepts that we've either already gone through/ or are so fucking basic, it's unbelievable. Like, and I shit you not, the fact that Glasgow is NOT in Ireland, the Cabinet is NOT a piece of furniture, and Ireland? Is not actually attached to England.

I've complained to about 5 different teachers today. I'm fucking paying for this. I could've just gone to a proper college, but decided to stay on, and this is what I get? I don't fucking think so. And while I appreciate the advice, you know, I don't really want to drop History to do Drama so I can get moved to the other English group. I don't think I should have to do that, somehow.

Apologies for the little rant, but I am very pissed off. Also, does anyone know how to get the Rich Text formatting option when posting? It seems to have disappeared for me, so I can't use italics, or bold or anything anymore. Thanks :)

Entered jonowrimo . Having rather a lot of fun so far, I've only written 800 words, but I've mangaed to establish two of my four viewpoint characters, and set some of the plot in motion. And I'm writing in a lovely, shiny new notebook *Squee*

6th form is less good at the minute, History is a little bit shit, both the class and some of the subject matter. English Lit also has a pretty crap class (if you have to ask "Why is the poem so long?", maybe you shouldn't be doing English Lit). It would've been so much better if I could've swapped to the other groups, but because I do RE, I can't without dropping history, whuch I really don't want to do. Still, talking to people in the other English group, and the rather wonderful head of history made me feel a bit better. I'll give it a couple of weeks and see how it goes.